No-show socks are terrible and I’ll never stop wearing them

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No-show socks are my sworn enemy.

I hate them: the way they instantly slip off my heel the second I step outside my apartment, the way they pool around in my sneakers, and the way they still somehow peek over the sides of my loafers, rendering their name a lie.

But I will never stop wearing them.

Why? When they work, they look … so cool.

Somehow, I have completely succumbed to the notion that shoes look better when you cannot see the socks underneath. I’m not sure what solidified this now-unshakeable belief (My thirst for a streamlined aesthetic? #Minimalism? The time I saw a hot person reading Marie Kondo on the subway?) but I do know that I’m all in.

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To be clear, actually wearing shoes without socks is gross. Your feet get sweaty and weird. Your toes feel damp. And, worst of all, your sad, innocent Chuck Taylors will smell like that one day the day you stupidly did not wear socks forever.

But there’s something satisfying about the no-show sock con, about projecting that you are somehow immune to gross feet, despite your very real attempts to curb them underneath your shoes. On very hot days, or stressful days, or (most often) days that are both hot and stressful, it even feels a little powerful a way to beat the system, a trick that harms no one else and keeps your feet dry. It looks effortless, but only you know about it. That feels good!

So, no-show socks, although you are my enemy, I cannot claim victory over you. You have won, and I will continue to lose you at the laundromat and buy you in packs of three from Target until the day I die. Or until I don’t care. Whichever comes first.

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