Trump wants a see through border wall so people dodge flying bags of drugs

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U.S.-Mexico border wall on January 25, 2017 i.
Image: Sandy Huffaker/Getty Images

Donald Trump is convinced that a brand spanking new wall across the border of the United States and Mexico would benefit his country immensely.

But before building the wall or even figuring out who’s paying for it, Trump realized it must include one critical design component: transparency.

Why would Trump want the wall to be see-though, you might be asking yourself. So we can admire each other’s countries from an appropriate distance? Nah. So border patrol agents can wave at each other instead of just walking along the structure all day? NOPE. According to Donald Trump, we need this wall to be transparent so people can dodge huge bags of drugs that will inevitably be chucked over the structure.


Buzzfeed reported on Wednesday that Trump shared some updated border wall requirements with reporters, which included a very unexpected explanation of why it’s important to able to see through the border wall is so important to our safety.

“As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff? Its over,” he said. “As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall.”

Just take a second to let that soak in, people … The President of the United States is afraid that 60lb sacks of drugs from Mexico will be catapulted over the border wall and rain down atop the heads of Americans.

In the words of Trump’s very good friend, James Comey: Lordy.

Trump also reportedly decided there is no need to build a full wall that spans the entire 2,000-mile border because the elements of nature can help us out.

“Its a 2,000-mile border, but you dont need 2,000 miles of wall because you have a lot of natural barriers,” he said. “You have mountains. You have some rivers that are violent and vicious. You have some areas that are so far away that you dont really have people crossing. So you dont need that.”

According to Buzzfeed, Trump now feels his great wall would only have to be around 700 to 900 miles long.

Okay, so from what we’ve gathered thus far, Trump’s ideal structure is: A transparent border wall that Mexico pays for eventually, which doesn’t span the entire length of the border, but is around 30-feet-tall, essentially impenetrable, very good looking, and also maybe covered in solar pannels.

Got it.

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